Dear Punxsutawney Phil,
If you are so keen on your prediction, I will gladly provide adequate transport for you, the missus, and the two little ones to come down here and help us thaw equipment, break open water troughs, sand slick areas, check cattle, doctor cattle, get tractors out of the ice/snow/mud, and so on and so forth. This job is not for the weak. This job takes time and stamina and will drain your energy faster than most others. The longer this lasts, the longer my patience wears.
Did I mention the fact that, unlike you, my dear sir, humans do not have a thick built-in coat. We must wear eight million layers before we can even consider stepping outside into the cold, frigid, winter air. The layers take time to build and put on, and in single digit temperatures, I feel like the kid from “A Christmas Story” yelling, “I can’t put my arms down!” The clothes weigh a ton, but without them I would literally freeze my fingers and toes off.
Might I also mention that your Phyllis is probably getting really tired of the kids at this point. I’m sure Sunny and Shadow have been driving her crazy in your little den. While you are out galivanting in the spotlight with your endless stardom, she is stuck at home with two rambunctious teenagers who can’t go outside due to the cold. I’m sure she loves you and understands what she married into but think of the children! They need sunshine, warm days, and room to roam, not some stuffy den.
As most things, time rolls on. You made your prediction, and we’ll have to suck it up for six more dreadful weeks. Here at home, it was 65°F yesterday and 32°F today. It’s miserable. You enjoy your mischief and fame, but let me warn you, sir. Next year better bring a more desirable sign or I may have to go “Caddyshack” on you! Stay safe folks.
The author is a sixth-generation farmer and fifth-generation dairy producer in southwest Virginia, where she and her family own and operate a 145-head Holstein dairy. Courtney is involved in agriculture organizations throughout her community and is a graduate of Virginia Tech.