There’s this series on YouTube of a British radio show that has people call in and tell the host and celebrity guests their unpopular opinions. You know, the things you think that are the opposite of what everyone else thinks. Wait, I’ll give you an example: Doritos aren’t that good. Specifically, cheesy Doritos. They’re tortilla chips with cheese dust on them; it’s not exactly the most brilliant invention. Besides, ranch Doritos are way better.
Before you start throwing rotten vegetables, I realized recently that I have other unpopular opinion more rooted in ag. So, I thought it may be equally fun and publicly damning to share them with you.
• I don’t love all cows. I just love my cows. Sure, some cows are cute, and I’m sure your cows are great. But I don’t know them, so I don’t care about them.
• Cheese pizza — plain cheese pizza — is gross. The cheese gets rubbery and weird and who wants to eat that?
• Just because I love cows doesn’t mean I want more of them. Have you seen those memes that say things like, “I don’t need money to make me happy, I just need cows.”? Yeah, no. I also need money. I have plenty of cows. I have more cows than I know what to do with. It might be nice to try having some money for a change.
• I don’t love my job every day. I can go weeks of not loving my job. And that saying of “Love what you do, and you’ll never work a day in your life” is not true. I love what I do, but it is, in fact, a lot of work.
• Selling the farm doesn’t mean you failed. Whatever farming makes you feel, it is a business. Sometimes, the best business decision is to sell. Despite what the industry makes you think, that does not make you a failure. Personally, I think it makes you brave.
• At the end of a long, hard day, I’d rather eat ice cream or gummy bears than drink a cold beer. Why do so many people have to have an alcoholic drink at the end of the day? Is your life that bad that you can’t get through without a beer a day? Or am I just an unbelievable prude? (P.S. Alcohol is gross, red gummy bears for life.)
• I don’t believe that everyone was made to share their farm story. Yes, I believe sharing about farming is important. Yes, I will support anyone who wants to take that path. But no, I don’t believe it’s meant for everyone. Some of the most passionate farmers I know would make terrible advocates. There’s a finesse and a skill involved with sharing your farm life online, and it’s simply not for everyone.
Lastly, and probably the most unpopular opinion of all:
• There is such a thing as too much cheese.
*pause for the audible gasps that I know just happened*
Look, I love cheese. I agree that it makes everything better; I just also think there’s a line. I like cheese to blend with a meal. Also, while I’m condemning myself, I’m not a huge fan of raw cheese. You could melt cheese on a paper plate and I’d probably enjoy it, but raw? Not so much.
If you’re still here, feel free to publicly shame me in the comments. Or, better yet, tell me one of your unpopular opinions. It’d be nice to not be the only person hated on by the internet today.
The author dairies in partnership with her parents and brother at Spruce Row Farm in Pennsylvania. Jessica is a graduate of Pennsylvania State University, and since 2015, she has been active in promoting dairy in her local community. You can find her and her 250 Jersey cows on Facebook at Spruce Row Dairy or on Instagram at @seejessfarm.